Becoming a Man

My son is more a man every day. He is back home now, having learned more life lessons after living with a girlfriend for a while. Calmer, wiser, with some regrets, he is looking towards the future. I had almost forgotten about this blog, but tonight he said to me that the more he talks to his (new) girlfriend, the more he appreciates me and all four of his parents, really. As he left, he said "I love you Mom, I almost texted that to you today". I joked that I would have wondered what he wanted, but inside it felt really nice to hear that.
I'm starting to see myself in him, he doesn't really think about careers in terms of money as much as in terms of being a help to society. I'm first proud, and second, glad to have him back. I don't know who that creature was that invaded him for a few years, but its nice to have him back. Praise the Lord.

birthday blunder

My kids forgot my birthday. So did my parents. So. Not much happened, BUT now the "kids" feel kinda bad, which isn't what I want, but the result is that they keep visiting me and wanting to take me to lunch or dinner. Nice. I told them that their time was what I wanted the most, so that's what they are giving me. Today my son took me to lunch, and then happily drove me on a few errands. It is nice to talk across the table to a young man at the beginning of his responsibilities. I am proud of him so far. He has come a long way since I started this blog.
I highly recommend that prayer book for your teenagers. Its all that works.
I am blessed.

spreading his wings

My son has been spending more time talking to me and asking my advice. I think its because he is moving out for good in less than a month. I looked at him and said, so, I guess you will never live with me again, at least until I go senile, huh? He said yup. He's getting an apartment not too far away. It will feel strange. I still miss my daughter, she and her husband rarely come over and they changed churches. So I sit in the pew with my husband and whoever we invite each week. No more happy little family filling the pew. I used to love that.
I'm luckier than most, I have many blessings to remember. Its a strange, lost feeling now. Mother is my favorite title, and now I never know when to do something and when to leave them alone. I heard the song "Find Your Wings" last month. "I'll have tears when you take off but I'll cheer as you fly". Perfect.
Right when they become easier to live with, they move out.

working hard

He is working three jobs, paying off his debts. I'm proud of him. He landscapes, comes home to shower then heads off to another job delivering pizzas. He does odd jobs every weekend.
It hurts that I can't afford college for him. He's more than capable.

Community Service

He's working with me, volunteering. If one more person asks if he's on Spring break...
I think he's calmer. Planning his future. Going to talk to a recruiter tomorrow. I have three phone numbers in my wallet, contacts for jobs. His record will keep anyone who takes applications online from accepting him. His best bet is meeting in person. He's a good kid. Wants to be a man, and I don't really know how to help him, except to pray and be here.

little boy inside

Yesterday I got a smile that will last a long time. My giant son came into my room talking to my husband and I (while we got ready for the day) and crawled into my bed, pulling the covers up just like he did when he was a little boy. I'd been up for hours, of course, but seeing him there made me smile.
I think he's back, new and improved.
He smiled at me before he headed off to work.
I'm only holding my breath a little these days.

lifted weights

Prayer works. In just one week, my husband has survived a blood clot in his lung, my father has come through surgery just fine, and my son survived court, and will not be incarcerated.
I can breathe again.
I asked my father, well, now what will I worry about? :)
I'm sure there will be something. Lesson learned is to hand it all over to God. He knows best, and He can take care of anything and anyone.